I am 24 years old, and I am THE healthiest I have ever been.
I am also the most self conscious I've ever been.
I don't know quite when it happened.
I've always been a really confident person!
I've always had a great body image--despite being plus size since middle school.
I've always loved life and myself.
Then one day...something changed.
I couldn't tell you when it happened, but I do know that it did.
Last night I was in bed with my husband, CRYING my eyes out.
I weigh myself up to 5 times a day.
I look in the mirror every morning and scrutinize my body.
I take every glance someone gives me and take it as direct criticism.
I don't eat greasy, fast, or fried food.
I take supplements.
I eat vegetables at every meal.
I don't eat dairy, or wheat.
I drink half my weight in water.
I eat as cleanly as I can.
This morning I woke up, went to weigh myself as is my routine--but something was different.
Something was missing.
My scale was gone.
My "weight chart" was gone.
My life seemed off balance.
Then, it seemed at peace.
Just for a moment, I felt relieved.
Joe and I made a deal last night.
I won't step on a scale again until my birthday.
I'm going to continue living my healthy lifestyle.
I'm not going to continue the unhealthy habits.
I've gotta learn to love my whole self again.
One day at a time.
